In this lifetime, I have had three very transformative experiences.

The first was a near-death experience, (NDE) that I’d rather call a “new life” experience. Before my near-death, I was a very brash young man that liked to challenge everything. I would put my life on the line for the thrill of adventure. I think in that stage of my life, I was an adrenalin junkie. My philosophy as a young adult was rather simple: enjoy life, learn how to survive and cut your swath in life to get where you want to be. At that point in life, it served me well. I became chief engineer on a research vessel and a commercial deep-sea diver. While in this job, we had an accident at sea where I drowned.
Like you probably have heard from others who have died and returned, I went into the light. There, in the light, I was met by others and it felt like coming home. I experienced a loving and acceptance like I had never felt before. While I was in the presence of these light beings, I experienced a life review. This was not just a review of what I had done in my life. I also experienced how my actions had effected and influenced other people and further, how their feelings and emotions were connected to my actions. It is hard to explain the intensities and details of the life review, let alone experiencing the review was without judgment. It was a feeling of growth and evolvement while I underwent this review. The review continued and I started seeing things that were unfamiliar to me, things that I had not yet lived or experienced. The group around me was very supportive through this, although there seemed to be more of them by this time. Even with their support, it was still disorienting. At that time, I was told that this was not my time and that I still had purpose in my life. I realized then I was seeing parts of my future. I also realized that I had to return back to my physical body, which was more painful than the actual experience of drowning. Somehow I was given the strength to accept this and I returned back to the body. It was emotionally draining and mentally staggering besides being physically painful. It was a bit of a miracle in how I was revived, which only proved to me that again I was meant to experience more of this life.

After I came back, I stayed connected with the light for three straight days. Part of me was in a state of shock, part in the body feeling the actual pain and another part in the light with awareness of life around me and the physical healing of my body.

During those three days I realized that I was given three incredible gifts. The first gift was acceptance. I knew who I was and could accept that I had faults and strengths. I no longer needed to beat myself up over failures. Instead, I could learn and accept and make myself a better human being. I now understood how my life could touch others with out knowing it. I also knew that I am in the perfect place at all times.
The second gift was tolerance. This was very new to me. Like I said, I liked to cut my swath through life. Suddenly, I now had a way of respecting and recognizing others beliefs or practices. I could now see that others in their life path are experiencing what they need for their growth. Tolerance allowed me to allow them to walk their paths.
The third gift was an understanding of my truth. I was given a way to know when I was experiencing my truth, by making my heart sing in a way that was similar to the love I experienced when I was in the light.

The three days after my near death were the most powerful. It was not just the physical shock, even more it was the spiritual shock of knowing my truth. Those three days I was living with my heart wide open. I mean the light that you experience when in the presence of that unconditional love. That feeling of coming home is present in your heart and your heart feels as though it has expanded beyond the physical body and is in touch with everything. Because of my human side, facing my own truth for the first time was very emotional and painful because I had to truly face myself. I had to face my faults and my strengths honestly and clearly. That is when I came to recognize that everyone has his or her own truth and it is very difference from factual truth.

With these three gifts my new life started. I began to change. I didn’t view anything the same anymore. I started to work on myself. Growing up in Arizona, as a young man, I had gained an understanding of the Native American natural way. I tended to follow that path of observation while working on myself. Some of my greatest growth would come during times of communing with nature. My spiritual side now communicated by giving me information that I had no way of knowing. At first I didn’t trust this knowledge, so I would test it. I would argue with this new awaken spiritual side of myself until over time I grew to trust and depend upon it.

I continued to work, play and live my life with my newfound truths until about ten years later. I went on a spiritual retreat back in Arizona, where I had grown up as a teenager. My agenda was to hike some of the old trails and enjoy myself. I figured I had come a long way with my three gifts and I thought I was doing very well. The first day of the retreat the whole group was to meet for morning mediation. I went off, away from the others, to mediate in a little grotto that I knew of. My intention was just to mediate for calming, relaxing and centering. Little did I know. Spirit and the light of my near death overcame me. I began reliving my near death experience over and over again. But it was much different. This time Sprit was now talking directly to me, not just projecting thoughts and information. I had never tried to return to the light or open my heart since that original experience ten years ago. That was something I had packaged up and put far back in my memory. When I first had my NDE my human self could not accept that connection with a universal all knowing God, Goddess, All That Is. I realized it was something that I had repressed. I came out of the meditation and I was again in that space with my heart open. I lived half in the light – half in the physical presence for three more days. All that time I kept reliving the original experience again and again.

So this became the second transformational experience. This second experience left me knowing that I can connect with the light at any time. I learned that we can all connect with the light. It is a matter of allowing our selves to listen and to quiet our minds. It also made me recognize that we are all a part of what ever we call God. We are all co-creators of our life’s path and everything in our experience. I needed those ten years of integration to be prepared for this second transformation, which forced me to face all this. These understandings caused me to change my life even more. Before I worked on myself to become a better human being, now I had to walk my talk. I started what I now call my quiet ministry. Others began to come to me to seek help. Spirit often would communicate some aid or assistance, often in the form of a spiritual seed. I think what people were drawn to was a change in the way that I expressed love and compassion. By being able to touch the light, I was able to experience unconditional love. Because we are all human, our human self naturally puts conditions on our love. Whether it is the love for a girlfriend or a love for a snack, we have expectations. We expect love in return or at least certain behaviors. Unconditional love doesn’t work that way. By living your life without expectations of others, by unconditionally giving your love, you build a true compassion that others can feel and are drawn to. But it also can cause trouble. The human side often misunderstands unconditional love. The human side creates expectations. It caused me some troubles before I recognized this fact.

My third transformational experience surfaced in November 2000. In my life review, I was shown parts of my life that I had not yet lived. Dealing with cancer was one of them. I was diagnosed with stage IV lung and bone cancer that ate away bones in my spine, which caused the spine to collapse. I was told this was a very poor prognosis and it was time to get my affairs in order. This came at a time when I was dealing more with my human self than my spiritual self. Yet because of my ministry and experiences with the light, acceptance of the cancer was immediate. It brought me back into my center and balance of self and Spirit. It gave me insights on how to deal with the aspects of coping with a terminal illness. Gratefully, Spirit communicated many ways of dealing with the physical pain, the drug induced highs and lows and the mental aspects of healing. I was shown practices of visualizations and mediations for relieving physical pain and to help in re-centering with the emotional anxieties and mood swings. Spirit has indicated that this is my future path. I have been in remission for over 7 years now. I am to work with others with terminal illness, NDEs and further my life ministry. This third experience was not like the others where I was given specific gifts. This has more brought the gifts together with even more balance and clarity. It has also acted as a conformation that I am again in that perfect place on my path. I now know that it is time to communicate what I have experienced, learned, and how it can be used.

I think if I was to say what came through the strongest in these three life transforming experiences is that we all chose the path we are on for the potential of growth and evolvement. We all have access to God’s light and love, we just need to stop, listen and be open to it. Finally, we all have obstacles and experiences that we must overcome and learn from so that we can evolve and grow. God hasn’t abandoned us when things seem tough. It is necessary to experience what we perceive as good and bad in order to grow. God’s light and love is a part of each of us and we don’t have to go searching for it. We just need to open up to it.